Posts Tagged ‘chinese’

Rex for April 5

April 5th, 2010

Rex for April 5

The puppy store got new puppies today,
lean as the shredded newspaper they’re peeing on.
They’re playing tug of war with a rolled up bandana,
2-on-1 although you can tell the terrier
really isn’t trying. He’s just holding on
for the ride. Their mouths are so skimpy
I imagine they’re milk snakes whose bite
can’t penetrate even human skin, or else
the whiffled grip of a newborn son.
I want so much to be a father someday.
They fight with a whole body shake
so violent I can see their ribs rattle
beneath their skin. Some day, pup,
you’ll be big and can latch onto flesh
and your master will hang a Beware of Dog
sign as you stamp along your lawn
and pee into the corners. Until then,
enjoy your meekness, your undecided strength.
The puppies you replaced,
who were in this display case last week,
are gone. Adopted, I hope, or else
destroyed. It’s not your fault, even if
you could understand Original Sin,
of blemishes from the start. But use it
anyway, as a fund of strength,
the responsibility of someone else’s sacrifice,
the way Chinese babies, if they’re daughters,
are discarded and how we, really I,
have to live gloriously enough
for more than myself.

Gumji

February 18th, 2010

Gumji

I never spoke Cantonese.
I knew the words for rice,
bath, homework, hurry, go, late;
for give, thanks, big and little brother;
for masturbation and porn and salt
(they’re all the same)
but I only mapped the shapes of their sounds.
I couldn’t produce them with my New Yorker tongue.
Damn, dad must have been the same
except reversed. Somehow, our babble worked.

But then, in parts, we grew apart.
I pretended to forget our code.
We didn’t talk, didn’t leave notes,
walked the same hallways in silence,
and soon, with college abroad,
I forgot his language whole hog.

These days, he’s lost it all.
We watch the news the 2 Saturdays
a month I visit. There are only bombs,
new strains of flu, angry parents
complaining about the sorry state of our schools.
He asks for the … …
I can see his hand form the mold,
his thumb jab at his palm for imaginary buttons.
“Remote?” I ask but really tell.
I wish I remember Cantonese
so I could say “gumji”;
that instead of giving him what he can’t find,
I could restore what once was there
but now is gone.

The Dining Philosophers Problem

February 8th, 2010

The Dining Philosophers Problem

We talked how fresh new dancers talk: code words
unlocked the unvoiced sentiments that were
too large to fit between our shorted breaths.
My father never made me learn Chinese
and always left his English back at work
but still our ears had found an easy peace
although his golden wisdom passed like sand
through the pinched middle of an hour glass.

For years this slow art worked out well for us
until I went to college out of state.
My need for token talk had come apart
like ants that spiral and who march too far.

His mind, the battered gate, is worse today.
He will forget the name of common things
like dinnerware or children whom, now old,
he leans against to lead him back to home.
We talk how wintered dancers talk: no words
at all or to each others collarbones.

The Chopstick Paradigm

January 30th, 2010

The Chopstick Paradigm

We channeled dancers in our dialogue.
We developed a playbill of token talk,
a flow chart keying what we heard
to what we knew. Our antonymic
views grew a sustained ecology on the tips
of our tongues: the gatheredness
of a veteran of fatherhood wars
with the smelting heat of youth.
Then like ant marches we spiraled apart
and lost our secret shorthand
how we lost Phoenician that once
was on that market place stone
that once was whole and unfractioned.
Worse, his mind is addered with age;
he often forgets the Chinese word
for things. So we talk
how dancers talk: none at all
or only into each other’s shoulders.

Everything Illuminated

May 7th, 2009

I’ve only heard the story once.
It came straight from the source
but was parceled out through shot glasses.
Mom and Dad were high school sweethearts.
Back then and over there, their high school
segregated genders, which meant
it was harder to pass notes during math class,
harder to schedule study dates that were
glorified excuses for accidental contact.
It also meant their love was more destined.

They grew up in the same building.
His family, being only slightly richer,
lived on the ground floor
while hers took the 3rd.
They had a better view
but were less likely to survive in a fire.
Even though it wasn’t color,
he still had a television
and she, the daughter of war survivors,
feigned envy and walked down
the 2 flights every night
to pretend to watch movies.
She was really watching him.

They came from Hong Kong,
the largest town in China,
and took separate flights
halfway around the Earth’s circumference
only to both land in Chinatown
and move into apartments
just blocks from each other.
In the shuffle, she found another suitor
and to hear Dad tell it,
40 years later and swayed by hard liquor,
he was fat and mean
and ugly.

She went to his uncle’s store
every afternoon and talked Dad’s ear off
while he wiped down tables.
She’d whimper like a coyote
caught in a bear trap
but was careful to cover her face.
She could fake the sounds but not the tears;
Dad always makes Mom’s eyes shine.

She technically didn’t propose.
All she’d do was stand real close
and suppose her only escape
was if she were already married
to someone funny, caring, and strong.
At this point, she’d cross her arms,
study the corners of her eyes,
sigh, and count the seconds
it took Dad to take the hint
by tapping her finger on her Chin.
Notice, she never said she wanted someone intelligent,
just someone smart enough to be good to her.

If God and goodness reside
in the laughter of children
then Dad’s been good to Mom
exactly 4 times in his life:
a daughter twice
and a pair of sons who hold
brightness in their hearts and in their minds.
If Love were a light
then my parents’ marriage would be its house
and it would guide all the wayward ships
back home at night.
Watching Dad passed out
and listening to him snore
while Mom stands in the doorway
shaking her head,
I realized I could never outshine their love;
a matchstick can’t go toe to toe
with a bonfire. But I know
if I could just be a mirror
to their 40 year old lime light
then I wouldn’t have to worry
cause I’d be doing pretty alright.

Hanzi

December 12th, 2008

I see night in a Chinese newspaper.
The writing, all Greek to me,
poses like low flying constellations;
a blanket of matchstick gods playing war.
Crowded and delicate, their arms
never clash but I can feel electricity
in a photo op of men so old
their bodies are dosing tear drops.
They mold monuments from Mahjong tablets
sitting between river deltas of rush hour traffic.

The calligrapher at China Republic Times
sits down every morning
with a latte and a brush,
fat as an upside down comma,
and paints Picasso before lunch.
He comes home to a hissing television
and bedroom walls too tired and dirty
to even tell stories.
He tries not to read the water stains
on the ceiling before he sleeps.
He tries not to see.

I am holding his flip book libretto,
his paper mâché Grecian Urn.
The hero at the start of the page
wears a coat cut from a dragon boat’s kite.
His 2 stroke damsel cries behind
caltrops of crystal shaped characters.

He, and I, feel our way through.