this morning was finally the first time I ever felt like a big brother. the highlights:
–I was fiddling around with my little brother’s computer, trying to install roms and an emulator on it. I reboot it and there’s an error message about vghd.exe. I know what vghd stands for. hell, in my day, all we had was vg.exe. the only 2 people who use the computer are him and his grandmother and I KNOW his grandmother didn’t install it.
–I’ve been collecting NERF guns, at first so that we could play together, and then because I’m a giant man child. I’ve been bringing them with me on our meetings for 2 months at least. anyhow, it was raining this morning so our usual plan of shooting up the local park or college (with toy guns, that is) was not going to fly. instead, I wait for his grandmother to leave for class (as far as I can tell, she’s getting a degree on the weekend) and leave us alone in the appointment. immediately, I clear the dining table and start laying out the guns, like those scenes in anti terrorist movies. as we’re loading up our clips, I hear a jingling of keys outside. mind you, my ears are keenly tuned to any hint of parents coming home early. but I write it off as someone else down the hall coming home. I was wrong. we both hear the door knob turn and we look at each other. the dining table is right in front of the door and the fleeting thought to sweep everything off the table or throw a giant blanket over it all (I’ve had a lot of practice. a lot). but no dice. we both look up from our array of guns and there’s this perfect moment of conspiracy, of shared guilt. it was the quintessential sibling experience. anyhow, his grandmother says, “I forgot my umbrella.” then her eyes wander over to what’s on the table. she says, very calmly, “I don’t want Genesis playing with these. they’re too violent.” it was code for: the hell are you doing? don’t ever do it again! he proceeds to throw a fit, kick at doors, generally let violence overcome him (ironic, right?).
–to paraphrase a conversation I had with him later in the day: “if your grandmother won’t let you play with NERF guns, she certainly won’t let you watch Saw IV”
it only took 7 months in the program, but we finally got to this point. it’s a little unfortunate because I’m moving to Brooklyn soon and won’t be able to do it that much longer. even now, while I’m living in Queens, it’s still a larger commitment than I expected. there was more than 1 time that I didn’t get home until 4 or 5am, slept for like 4 hours, then headed out to him. sigh.
